Best. List. Ever.

So much copious word to this:

The BEAST 50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2005

Some choice tidbits:

On Tom Cruise: "Cruise is a perfect example of a person who is simultaneously in love with and completely unfamiliar with himself, living in perpetual fear of self-actualization, and asserting a legal right to live free of criticism."

On Nancy Grace: "Looks like a camel in drag."

On Michael Brown: "A man of geological indolence, Brown makes lichens seem dynamic."

On Karl Rove: "Rove is decidedly not a genius; he is simply missing the part of his soul that prevents the rest of us from kicking elderly women in the face."

Good times.

TyrantMail

Lovin' McSweeney's spoof of "Tyra Mail" from America's Next Top Model.

Tyra Banks is a blithering idiot, but she's lucked into a really engaging show. Still, I can't help but think it would be that much more entertaining if the models - or "sticks with tits" as a friend of mine calls them - had to face shark infested waters, prison, and God's wrath instead of the usual gamut of silly challenges.

Got Me Good

Remember your creative writing teacher who forever admonished you to show, not tell? Well, if you're still trying to silly putty your brain around that one (I know I still am), go see Brokeback Mountain. This isn't melodrama, friends. This is art.