Friday, June 30, 2006

My Hero

What's that you say? Oh, heavens no. I have really bad allergies, all those pollens, and...and molds, they make my eyes water. Also, I had something in my eye earlier so it got a little red and irritated. I'm fine, really. Do you have a Kleenex?

Joss Whedon's Equality Now Speech

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Dear Comcast DVR: I Hate You.

When Roger and I moved into our new place earlier this year, we were dismayed to discover that our Tivo had to go. As our apartment resides in a very old building with no phone jack in the living room, Tivo was no longer a viable option. We signed up for Comcast Cable's DVR, which we heard was capable of recording two programs at the same time (a wonderous feat even Tivo couldn't yet perform). We felt pangs when we installed our DVR, as it wasn't nearly as cute or user-friendly as our dear departed T, but we thought it might wind up being an adequate -- maybe even superior -- replacement.

Boy were we wrong. The Comcast DVR, or "Commy," as some call it, is one hot mess.

Commy, here are just a few of the reasons why we hate you:

You're dumb. Even when we program you to record a particular show, you often just forget to do it. It's not that the show isn't high enough in our queue of series recordings; at times it's the number one show. You're just dumb and you forget. So thanks for that.

You're slow. I admit I like to pause a lot during programs. I need to pee, or get some water, or harass the dog, or some such other normal human activity. You don't seem to like this. I'll push "pause" and you won't pause. I'll press "pause" again - still nothing. So then, out of mounting frustration, I randomly start mashing multiple buttons, hoping something will wake you from your stupor. Suddenly, you'll realize you've been sitting on your flat ass, not doing your damn job, and decide to comply with my requests all at once. Pause! Pause! Stop! Play! Exit! Last! Guide! Menu! Delete! DELETE! Mayhem ensues. You're whirring frantically. Aborted commands flash across the screen willy-nilly. Maybe you're contributing to global warming. The debacle usually ends with the deletion of some saved program I was really looking forward to. Fun!

You're a hypochondriac Twice last week you shut off in the middle of a show. No warning - just kaput. I think you were overheating as it was a really hot day, but Tivo survived many a scorcher last summer with nary a complaint. So I missed the last 5 minutes of two shows I was really into, and now I'll never know how they turned out. We actually had to put a mini-fan on top of you to keep you from overheating, which works, but is patently ridiculous. So yeah. Thanks, ComCrash.

You're high maintenance. Every time one of the above problems occurs, the good people at Comcast advise us to unplug and replug you so you can reset your delicate little self. We are advised to leave you alone for 30 seconds so you can unwind.("Walk away, take your shoes off, get a drink of water" was the advice of one perky service gal). Apparently you need to "unplug" and have some quiet time in order to function properly. Who do you think you are, Scarlett O'Hara? Get over yourself.

I hate you, Commy, but right now you're our only option. I think this is one of the most dysfunctional relationships I've ever had. Are you some sort of karmic retribution for our rampant technological consumerism, or just a really sucky, poorly designed product that was rushed to market way too quickly? I'm thinkin' both.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Brazil nut

Last Monday I returned from a one week trip to Brazil, where my family and I went to visit my sister Jessica. Jess is doing a junior-year-abroad type program and is studying Portuguese in a big, smelly, urban sprall of a city called Belo Horizonte. My sister says that if Rio is like L.A., and Sao Paulo is like New York, then Belo Horizonte is like Pittsburgh. Yes, I visited the Brazilian Pittsburgh. Still, it was an amazing trip. Outdoor markets, sidewalk bars, fantastic food, oh yeah. We also spent a couple of days in a beautiful hillside mountain town called Ouro Preto, which more than made up for the relative fug-factor of B.H.

Here's me in Congonhas, on the way to Ouro Preto.



Jess and mom in O.P.



Panning for gold at an abandoned mine



Best. billboard. ever.