Wired's Very Short Stories

Apparently inspired by a 6-word short story penned by Ernest Hemingway ("For sale: baby shoes, never worn."), Wired Magazine asked a bunch of writers to submit their own 6-word masterpieces. Some of the results are brilliant, others hilarious. Here's a sampling:

From torched skyscrapers, men grew wings.
- Gregory Maguire

Gown Removed Carelessly. Head, less so.
- Joss Whedon

Longed for him. Got him. Shit.
- Margaret Atwood

Wasted Day. Wasted life. Dessert, please.
- Steven Meretzky

It’s behind you! Hurry before it
- Rockne S. O’Bannon

Kirby had never eaten toes before.
- Kevin Smith

TIME MACHINE REACHES FUTURE!!! … nobody there …
- Harry Harrison

Bush told the truth. Hell froze.
- William Gibson

Dinosaurs return. Want their oil back.
- David Brin

Will this do (lazy writer asked)?
- Ken Macloed

Cryonics: Disney thawed. Mickey gnawed. Omigawd.
- Eileen Gunn

Bring On the Horror Flicks!

Halloween has always been my favorite holiday. I love everything about it -- the change of seasons, the sudden crispness of the air, the pumpkin carving, the creative jack ‘o’ lanterns, the scary movies, the limited edition goodies like little candy corn-flavored pumpkins...I could go on. It's just a rockin' good time.

When I was a kid, I loved to go trick or treating. As a teenager it was all about the costume parties and haunted houses. Now I just love to sit around and watch horror films and all those retrospectives like "The Top 100 Scariest Movie Moments." I don’t always love not being able to sleep after a night of bingeing on horror, but overall it’s worth it. Come to think of it, that’s part of the fun.

It’s only mid-October but already some good stuff is starting to pop up on cable, and last night I stumbled across one of my very favorite Dracula flicks -- the 1979 John Badham version starring Frank Langella and Laurence Olivier (!). Now granted, this is not a film for Dracula purists. It's not faithful to the book, the names of the two heroines are switched (god knows why), and Dracula is repurposed from a hideous blood-sucking fiend to a romantic hero of Byronic proportions. Still, the movie really works. Maybe it's the creepy 70s film stock where everything looks really washed out, but damned if the movie doesn't look like it was really filmed in the Victorian era. The score was composed by John Williams (y'know, the Star Wars Theme guy), and it's arguably one of his best -- super dramatic and vampy and over-the-top. Also, the cast is pretty damned inspired. Olivier is the perfect Van Helsing – sad, weary, yet determined. Kate Nelligan is great as the beautiful, headstrong, progressive Lucy that Dracula falls for. Donald Pleasance is excellent as the obligatory man of science and Lucy’s skeptical father. Tony Haygarth is one of the creepiest, bug-eatingest Renfields I’ve ever seen. And, as long as you can get past the disco-era blow-dried hair, Langella is absolutely arresting as Dracula. He’s arrogance, lust and pathos all rolled into one.

Sure the movie is bursting with fromage, especially the “visual effects,” (screeching bat puppets on a wire? Check.) but this is a vampire movie made in the 70s, people! The cheese is part of the charm. If you’ve got cable On Demand, check it out.

Tonight, I’m moving on to “Scream.” Boo!