Aloha!

I’m back from Hawaii, the land of beautiful, forest covered mountains, breathtaking vistas, fabulous fruity drinks, sparkling beaches, and mosquitos. Lots and lots of mosquitos. Also? Rain. Lots and lots of rain. Itchy red bumps and water-logged Tevas aside, the trip was fantastic. Fun was most definitely had, and my liver is just a little bit more pickled than it was pre-trip. Oh who am I kidding? A lot more pickled. Anyhoo, I will have some pictures up shortly (though not of my liver—you don’t want to see that), but for now, here are some highlights:

• Swimming and snorkeling on the beaches of Kauai
• Hiking in Kauai
• Swimming by a waterfall in Kauai
• Mojitos in the condo hot tub
• The Thanksgiving luau
• Shave ice (it’s not dirty, it’s delicious!)
• Fabulous dinners courtesy of my fabulous friends
• A tour of the USS Arizona Memorial in Honolulu

There’s much more, including one extreme kayaking adventure, one doggie rescue on the aforementioned extreme kayaking adventure, one very trippy hike, quite a bit of public nudity, and a very disturbing condo pole dance, but in the interest of protecting the privacy of the parties involved, I’ll refrain.

Mahalo!

Don't F**k with Lappie

Sometimes, we get bored.

"Y'all Ain't Ready." No, really.

I honestly didn't think Hollywood could claim a bigger idiot than the obnoxious cave troll who goes by the name of Tom Cruise. I was wrong. Mea culpa. Mea MAXIMA culpa.